THE CAR

Once you have picked your person, they will take you away in a car. This is your second kennel and you can do what you like in here, being sick is normal and you can wet the seat that is always a good one. The confined area of a car is a great place to pass wind as your human loves this and will waft it around themselves, shouting with sheer pleasure and opening the window for you to put your head out and stick your tongue out to see how long it is. Your ears will flap in the wind as will your jaws. This is not dignified but it is fun, you can drool down the outside of the vehicle and it also stops you having to suffer the smell in the interior of the car! There are handles on the door to chew and if you are in an estate car or jeep then the leather trim makes a great ripping sound. You must wipe your nose on the windows every time you enter the vehicle! Ideally your own chair in a van is the best.

 Harry Potter was loaned this chair by Abbie. He used it in the van so that us big dogs didn't stand on him When he was big enough........ she sat on him to get it back!

  SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS

The first night in your new home you will be allocated a bed, this is usually in the kitchen, do NOT sleep there. Cry bark or howl and if you do it right someone will come and either sleep with you or you will be removed to the bedroom where there is a very comfy warm duvet to lie on. 

Mr. Harry Potter Sings

Humans are very easily pleased but they don’t like as much sleep as we do. Waken them by biting their toes or any other bare piece of flesh you find, or alternatively, dive across their sleeping body standing on delicate areas! 'Never let your human sleep later that 5am - it's not good for them. Try to wake them by banging loudly on their bedroom door,  that is what your tail is for. (This is most effective if you can time it to coincide with a period of deep, dreamless sleep). Once you have woken them, continue to play noisily on your own for the next two hours - a good idea is to make lots of unusual noises which are hard for them to identify from their bed - this is very effective in preventing them from going back to sleep as they lie there wondering just what it is you are destroying. The most important part of this exercise is to then fall soundly asleep at about 7am, just as they are struggling out of bed. They just love to sit at the breakfast table, all bleary-eyed and grumpy, and watch you sprawled on your bed, sleeping the sleep of a carefree, innocent puppy.' They may reward you by putting you outside to play all night. However if it is cold or raining or you have had enough the howling barking routine should have the desired effect.

  Shout in the cat flap if you have one!

Get in their bed first then DON'T move 

A favorite armchair is yours for the taking. and chewing!!

FEEDING

Food is great and you can get what you want if you don’t eat for a day, your human will panic buy and tasty treats like chicken and fish and steaks may be offered, if not well… you did not pick the best human, you will have to train them. P.S. Clever wolfies can open cupboards and fridges. Remember to climb on all high surfaces to find treats or cat food. You are also the dish washer in the family and all plates, cutlery and pots have to be spotlessly cleaned.

THE HEART EXERCISE. Invented by Abbie

  Abbie has found a great way to make your humans heart beat really fast, giving it lots of exercise.

She ran to the end of the loch pier, jumped in, then disappeared into the depths. She swam up after a heart stopping moment then her human pulled her out. Her humans heart beat very fast and loud for the next hour or so and Abbie thinks this is something we should all try. (Frankly I wouldn't get my feet wet for anyone)..

The wolfies with sad looks

  Let me up on the couch!. let us out mum! Feed me!

Human Training

To train a human the best way is the sad eyes maneuver (See above). To use this you have to lift your head slowly and gaze mournfully into your humans eyes this works well when they are eating…do not drool unless your human is sunbathing, they like drool to keep cool with and will rub it into their skin, and feed you the ice-cream they were eating. An alternative to this is the beard- remember it is very important to dry your beard after a drink this can be done by rubbing yourself on your human  especially if they are dressed in nice clothing to go out for the evening you can watch them change several times into different clothes and hear them make funny grunting noises about us. Now remember to laugh at these things the wolfhounds laugh is very important, as is the smile. These are the things that make us the best breed in the world.

DD Gives Harry a bird snog!

   Ollie with a WET beard  (guess what happened next?)

. Potter laughing

Duh!

The stupid look

Let your human think you are stupid. They will not expect to much from you, unlike Darcy and Tilly  who did well in obedience but let the side down!

Don't overdo it or you could end up in jail!

To stop your humans getting bored you should entertain them.

  Hide and Seek ( This is a particular favourite, your human will spend hours playing this with you) but you have to learn to hide better than Mr. Potter!

THE TAIL

The tail can be used for many other things as well as a drum, they make lovely black and blue patterns on your human and can dust a table with one sweep, leaving it free from anything  your untidy owner left there, like ornaments or a cup of tea! 

It doesn't work upside down!

Another great way to train a human is when you are in a field or park and you have let them off the lead, run fast in the opposite direction and your human will have a great time running after you, they will yell and scream with pleasure. They will then reward you with a biscuit when they catch you and tell you how good you are. The next stage is to run away then turn and charge at them as fast as you can. Try to veer off at the last second, don't worry if you don't make it at first, it is a very hard game to perfect and you may find you knock your human over a few times before you get it right.

If you find yourself out in the cold again… well you picked the wrong people. Train them harder.  

 Potter learning the run away routine( We have all gone home)

You have to learn to tear things up, like toilet rolls, Potter will demonstrate

POTTER....

 YES? Whoops caught!!...it was Dennis mum look....

Abbie's favorite.....or things that are put through the front door; a human called the postman or paperboy puts them there in the morning. Now you must NEVER hurt a human but you can tear up the papers they bring. Grab them as the land on the floor before your human gets them he will tear them first so you have to be quick, once you have them in your mouth do NOT let go. Your human, will then pull them out and tear them with you, this is a great game. Especially when your human again shouts with pleasure and calls to you ‘good dog let go.’ If he hits you on the head with them, then you are to blame you picked this human. More training is needed.

 (training school)   

Training your human takes lots of patience we spent all night trying to get dad to sit!!

Television is a great way to train your human. Stand in front of the set with your lead in your mouth and whine till your human either throws a cushion or the remote at you (more training needed) or takes you for a walk. - (You've cracked it).